Articles
"Why I Don't Preach" / Whoso Findeth a Wife - part 10
(by Keith Stoneheart)
I get asked a lot of questions. I do my best to give answers: appropriate, correct, to the best of my knowledge etc. The truth is, I don't have ALL of the answers. Yet, the questions will continue to come, and I will continue do my best to answer. I suppose if I could answer one question to the best of my ability and to the best of my knowledge, then I could answer any question the same way, albeit - sometimes that answer would be "I don't know.” You see, my job demands me to question everything, to look for the truth in every situation and to examine it to the ultimate standard of truth and then compare and share it as it is proper to.
This often gets me into trouble with people. It gets me into trouble because much of the societal and cultural push for the acceptance of immorality have inherently a built-in biblical truth that is completely opposed to it. When the answer is given to the best of my ability and from the standard of truth I have used to arrive at this conclusion, it is most often not received with the warmest of welcomes. Following quickly behind my answer are responses that are usually sharp and often used as a weapon would be to insult me, deride and berate me and to ultimately hurt me.
Now a new line of questioning begins as a means to divert me away from the original topic and turn the focus on me and my motives. These questions are filled not only with spite and maliciousness, but they are also loaded with suppositions and assumptions. The problem with the suppositions and assumptions is that others incorrectly place motives about why I do what I do, rather than work from an informed opinion or even better - to allow me to answer their question without jumping to conclusions. "Why do you preach? - to steal people's money? To spread your hatred for people who aren't like you? Because you think you're better than everyone else?” "No" is all I can usually get out before I'm cut off, but in fact there are many reasons, some more important than others, but all are deciding factors that played out when I considered choosing this life.
The first thought that comes to mind is "why would I choose a life that will bring me such hatred and uncomfortable moments such as these if not for an incredibly good reason? I mean, after all - where is the tolerance FOR me, that everyone is demanding FROM me?
That being said, It might be easier to tell you why I don't do what I do.
1. I don't preach for money.
2.I don't preach to be self-righteous.
3. I don't preach because I want to prove others wrong.
4. I don't preach because I hate anyone.
5. I don't preach to make you feel bad about yourself.
6. I don't preach to make you feel good about yourself.
7.I don't preach pretending that I am a Psychologist.
8. I don't preach for popularity.
9.I don't preach for praise.
10. I don't preach pretending to have all the answers.
I preach because God is real. And just as He is real, so is His love, His grace, and His mercy - and ALL of these things have been extended to ALL people. This is completely visible in the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, taking the death that we deserve, so we don't have to. It's just that simple. Because man chose to sin (Genesis 3), he separated himself with God because God is Holy and cannot have fellowship with sin. It is completely contrary to everything He is. So from before the beginning of time, the part of God is Jesus said, "I'll go, I'll die, and I'll make a connection possible again. Why? Love... True love. REAL love - not the selfish gratification of our desires we often attribute to love - but sacrificial love as described in 1 Corinthians 13.
While His love knows no limits - His acceptance, however -DOES. This is probably the primary reason that I preach. I preach to share the love mercy and grace of God through His son, but not so we can continue on in sin - but so we can turn from it in repentance. 2 Corinthians 5:9-11 says "9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.11 Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others." Knowing that the judgment day will come and that it is as real as today is, then knowing the Gospel of Christ and keeping it to myself is not an option. I MUST persuade others as Paul so eloquently states and to not do so will condemn me for being hateful.
Hateful? Yes... IF the Gospel of Christ is in fact "The power of salvation to all who believe" (Romans 1:16) and to die without it means to be eternally lost - THEN HOW COULD IT NOT BE HATEFUL? How much do you have to hate someone, NOT to share the gospel with them? IT’s not just the GOOD news - It is the BEST news, and like Jeremiah in Chapter 20 verse 9, he said "If I say, “I will not mention Him, or speak any more in His name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot." And I will not.
SO - that's my answer. That is why I preach. And I fully realize that many men do, in fact, preach for the wrong reasons - maybe even some of the ones I listed above - but I know many more that do it for the same reason as I do. So, extend to us a little of that tolerance demanded from us, and maybe not be so quick to judge us as you are shouting "judge not," no matter how poorly you are misusing that passage. We are human too, we have families and we have feelings, and BOTH get hurt when we are not extended the same courtesies you expect from us. We are not your enemy. We actually love you more than you know, but would love an opportunity to share with you the love that someone died to give you.
Companion of Youth “Whoso Findeth a Wife” Part 10
(by Dene Ward)
“Yet you say, Wherefore? Because Jehovah has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion...” (Malachi 2:14). The Hebrew word for “companion” in this passage is only used here in the Old Testament, and is feminine. It makes sense then, that this is a one-of-a-kind companion to the man, which should make them special to each another. The prophet obviously speaks to older men who were “dealing treacherously” with the women they had married young, trading them in on a new model, as we often say nowadays. They had forgotten the covenant they made when they were younger to be a companion, not just for awhile, but for life. Men are not the only ones who need this reminder. “So you will be delivered from… the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God” Proverbs 2:16-17.
Since we cannot look to other uses of the word in Scripture, it might be helpful to examine the English word the translators chose. Originally it derived from “someone to share bread with.” It speaks of a closeness beyond simple acquaintance. When people put their feet under the same table, they learn far more about each other than they ever will with a handshake in the foyer. For a man and woman to share a meal, the assumption is intimacy. What do you think of a couple you see eating together in a restaurant? Either they are married or dating. The intimacy of a marriage, of course, goes far beyond eating together. When I see a man whose tie is askew or whose collar is turned up, I tell his wife. I would never put my hands on another woman’s husband in quite that way. In the same manner, Keith and I eat off one another’s plates and share drinks, we brush lint off one another, and get in one another’s personal space without a second thought. The sexual relationship, which we have already discussed (see “Cistern”), is a natural element of male-female companionship and all these small nuances are its natural byproducts. That is why married people should be careful who they spend the most time with.
God meant that this companionship begin, ideally, in youth, and continue for a lifetime. “A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife…” Gen 2:24. As he reaches manhood, as she reaches womanhood, they search out a companion, make a covenant together and begin a marriage. In their “youth,” however a particular culture may define it; they learn together and grow together. They make plans and share a purpose—together. These are choices they make, not some overpowering feeling they cannot control. Choosing to be together and using that time to the best effect makes the relationship more and more intimate as the years go by. But just as the myth with children, “quality time” does not happen if a quantity of time is not being spent at it. Anything that lessens companionship, in both quality and quantity, is a danger to the relationship.
Dating couples need to be talking about these things early on. If you cannot agree on life goals, if you do not share priorities, if you become bored in one another’s company, maybe this is not the ideal companion for you. Stop now before you get in so deep you feel unable to get out. It will only make the hurt worse to continue in something that will have no good end. You are talking about a lifetime decision here, one that will affect you as no other will, one that can even determine your eternity. It is interesting that Barnes defines “companion” as “another self.” While some time alone can be re-invigorating to a marriage, it should always leave one with a sense that something is missing. Couples who make it a habit to be away from one another are lessening that sense of belonging. “But we’ve grown apart,” some will say to excuse divorce, condemning themselves in the process. The whole point of the relationship is togetherness. Do we think this happens by magic? It is my responsibility to make sure we grow closer together, not further apart. That does not mean that we must share every single interest, but we should share the things that matter the most.
When you’ve started out young and made it together through the various trials of life, the relationship grows stronger, deeper, and sweeter. Knowing there is always someone you can count on, that any little tiff will soon be over and all will be right again, gives you a sense of security that will see you through the toughest times, and that includes the time when this lifetime relationship is broken by death. To hear my mother say to my father just moments before he died, “Wait for me at the gate. I’ll be there soon,” was something I will cherish till my time comes to say the same words. That is what companionship is all about. From those first baby steps as a brand new person—“one flesh”—to the maturity of an interdependent couple who have seen both the best and the worst of each other, who have helped each other, supported each other, lived together, worked together, laughed together and cried together—a married couple should cling to one another and no one else in this relationship, under the loving watch of the Father who designed it.
“And God said, It is not good for man to be alone…” Gen 2:18.
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